Where Is My Motivation?

So I got up at 6am and I didn’t go to the gym. This is the 2nd time in a ROW that I’ve done the same thing. The idea of getting up and going to the gym feels like a huge mountain and I’m SO FED UP with myself right now.

I sat on the end of my bed yesterday and I tried to find the will to just get up and GO.

Today was the same. Sitting. I got dressed. I sat.

I sat so long I missed my class and then I felt sick because WHY didn’t I just go?

Boo. Enough of me wallowing. I didn’t go to the gym, but I did go to the park, and I completed the week 1 of the Zombies, Run! app I’ve been using.

It’s been such good weather and the tide was in, so I went for a paddle.

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The water was so clear and cold (but not too cold!) it was impossible to think that this was 7.15am in the morning… in SCOTLAND. Crazy.

The app today had me ‘leaving’ the township to find a gun and ammo. I was chased by a ‘shambler’ which is like a slow moving zombie that you can outrun by just walking briskly. I did a bit more running in my last 10 mins free run than normal – after being refreshed by my paddling! – and was sweaty and gross by the end.

I’m still not… running. I’m doing more of a slow jog that probably looks pathetic, but whatever. I feel like I just gotta keep TRYING.

I need to get back to the gym tomorrow. I’m paying for it, I enjoy it, I need to go back.

I just… Where the hell did I put my motivation?

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